can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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