So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
