Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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