i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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