FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
