I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
