if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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