I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
