why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
