Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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