why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
