Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
