This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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