Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize