I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
