my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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