i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
