I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
