so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
