Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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