ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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