Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
