Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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