i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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