PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
