opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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