nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
