I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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