Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
