My first STD was from a foam party
Michael Bay diarrhea
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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