We got so high we made milksteak
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
