He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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