I wanna bring you to show and tell
I checked into jail on foursquare
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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