ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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