i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
