Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
