I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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