So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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