if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
