kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
two words: eviction party
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have aggressive nipples.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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