I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
