she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
