we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
