i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
