walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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