He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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