I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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