I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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