He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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