Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
